Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Last night was Spanish class and I was totally unprepared. It was the last class of the session, so we all met at El Rodeo, a Mexican restaurant that used to be a Wendy's from the look of it and that sits in the shadow of a giant billboard by the highway. I ordered una cerveza without looking at what anybody else was having, so of course I was the only one drinking. No big deal. But also Lauren and I had forgotten to do our homework, which was calling each other and having a phone conversation in spanish and then sharing it with the profesora. So we improvised a conversation in which I displayed my skill in saying "I don't know" and "I forget the past preterite tense" in Spanish. I guess the whole episode was no big deal, actually. But it made me think I need to concentrate on my academic responsibilities.

Yesterday was really great, now that I think of it. After my doctor's appointment I went to the art store and bought a new set of oil pastels and a 6B pencil with my hard-earned money. I spent a couple of hours in the coffeeshop chatting and drawing pictures and drinking tea, which was a nice break from working like a maniac. I'm a little lonely for friends so whenever I meet anybody interesting we usually have a fascinating conversation.

Today was a little rockier. I started off with great intentions and a fantastic attitude. I'm trying to be better friends with my mom since I'm stuck here and she's very kind to me. So my plan was to spend all day helping her with the house, stripping paint and painting woodwork and whatever else she wanted to do. I was doing fine until early afternoon when she wanted to take a break and go run errands. Here is what I learned:

No matter how positive my mood, as soon as I get into a car alone with my mother, the rest of the day is trashed, irretrievable, hopeless. I don't know if it's some deep-seated un-dealt-with childhood trauma, or just that we interact extremely poorly in enclosed spaces. Maybe I'm just sick of driving in cars and because I'm with my mother I feel I can't distract myself from being sick of driving with my usual repertoire of car entertainments. Whatever it is, I felt myself diving into an opaque cloud of crabbiness that hasn't cleared until THIS VERY MOMENT.

Goodnight, sweetness.

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